I n E v e r y c i r c l e o f F r i e n d s T h e r e ' s a W h o r e - T h e o n e w h o f l i r t s a n d d o e s a l i t t l e m o re.

So if anyone hasn't noticed, I've been titling my entries on this site according to whatever song is playing when I begin the entry. That saves time because I don't have to be all "lulz. Now playing: -insert music-" because it's there in the title. If you're curious and don't know, Google the lyric. I'm sure it'll come up. Obviously, today's selection would be none other than Newport Living by Cute Is What We Aim For. Ironically, the lyrics I chose to post fit very, very well with the topic I had thought about updating about.

I don't really get what's so great about sex? And I don't know why this has been bothering me as much as it had. We went to an assembly for a chastity talk yesterday, and I actually liked it? It's convinced me. It didn't make me feel guilty that I'm not a virgin, it just convinced me to wait from now? I don't want to be with someone that's slept around with -insertnumberhere- people. So why should I sleep with -insertnumberhere- people too? If you read my livejournal, I apologize for the redundancy. I just don't find that attractive. I don't regret losing my virginity with that person, because I was convinced that that would be forever; I was in love with that person.

I obviously was wrong because I'm no longer with that person. As great a friend they are, I honestly don't think I could/would be with them forever. Do I mean that in a negative way? Absolutely not. I just don't think that it would be successful long-term. And I recognized that a year ago, and I'm glad I did, I suppose.

As I mentioned before, I updated my livejournal about this, though I didn't really go into the detail I'm going here, because there are people that I'd prefer not to read it? I don't know if they do, but -shrug- Also, this is clearly a tangent, because this is not what I tended on talking about because of the lyric.

Back to the point, I updated my livejournal about this, and I asked my girlfriend to comment the entry, because I felt guilty by not telling her I wasn't a virgin, but I wasn't sure how to tell her. She seems to be alright with it? she said she was shocked? But she said she understood that I had been in (a) serious relationship(s) and that what happened happened. She told me not to regret it, which makes me respect her for not holding it against me. I feel guilty that, should this turn into forever, she wouldn't be my first..

Anyway, I have no respect for people that cannot be faithful to whomever they are currently with. IT hurts me to know that people can be that horrible to someone else. Now, trust me, I know that I am a horrible person in many ways. I gossip, I bitch, I completely disrespect people, I will tell utter lies juts to hurt someone; because I know I'll win. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. When you cheat on your girlfriend, not once, but twice, in the same day, with two different people, I cannot even try to comprehend that. It hurts me even more when I know that I am in love with you. It really hurts, because I know that you wouldn't treat me any different than whoever you're with every other Friday night. And that fact that you don't even have the nerve to confess it to him, and are lying to the other party's girlfriend is just wrong.

It sucks. It really, really sucks. Because you have the potential to be an amazing person in a relationship. But you had to ruin this one. Just like you ruined the last one. What you had with him was perfect, as much as it -killed- me to see and admit. You both were serious about it; and whats-his-face had to ruin it. It just sucks. It sucks that you've thrown this away. It sucks that you don't care. It sucks that I'm in love with such a person that can be so horrible. -shrug-
I don't want to write any more about this. It sucks.